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Let her know that sometimes even a nurse defending her patients’ legal rights can be arrested and dragged out of the hospital she works in, and that a child named Tamir Rice was shot by police as he played in a park—that “compliance” cannot save someone who was shot less than two seconds after the officer got out of his car.This will be an ongoing conversation, and it will often prove challenging and uncomfortable.
If you cannot afford it, and if you believe it will not put either of them in harm’s way, your best option may be to encourage her to seek resources from the financial assistance center at the hospital where she plans to give birth.
It is important to talk to your daughter about the racist disparities in traffic stops as a white woman who lives in America and is presumably invested in interrogating and dismantling white supremacy both in herself and in the world around her, not only because her boyfriend is black.
The goal of this conversation should not be “how to make sure my daughter is never made to see or experience racism due to her proximity to blackness.” Read this article about the racist history of traffic stops together, and talk about the information you read there.
It is worth having, regardless of whom your daughter is dating, and I’m glad you’re prepared to start now.
Dear Prudence, My husband and I have been preparing to adopt a baby from “Anita” for six months.
Are we obligated to continue paying for her medical expenses?
My first impulse was to tell you to speak with the adoption agency you’re working with, since presumably they have policies in place for situations exactly like yours.
Dear Prudence, I’ve known my friend “B” for around five years.
We met as students and had a wonderful companionship through school and still remain close.
But if nothing else, let this serve as a useful lesson in why it is so important to work with a reputable agency that balances the needs of birth parents and prospective adoptive parents, for situations just like this one.
Dear Prudence, I have a weird etiquette question: I was in an abusive marriage for a decade, and after we split, I had to distance myself from both my social and professional circles because we worked in the same industry. Recently, I’ve started to fold a few previous connections back into my life.
I love it that they are starting this new adventure in the dating scene together.